const pricing = "Creative";

package "Basic";

$FREE
// You get what you pay for
  • ✓ Blurry photo of something
  • ✓ Maybe in focus
  • ✓ Sent via carrier pigeon
  • ✗ No edits
  • ✗ No retakes
  • ✗ No complaints

package "Pro";

$999
// per minute
  • ✓ Photos that don't suck
  • ✓ Basic edits (sliders maxed)
  • ✓ Pretend to listen to your ideas
  • ✓ Free lens flare
  • ✗ No refunds
  • ✗ No dignity

package "Platinum";

$YOUR
// firstborn child
  • ✓ I'll pretend we're friends
  • ✓ Unlimited reshoots
  • ✓ Photoshop your ex out
  • ✓ Make you look 20 years younger
  • ✓ Fake tears at your wedding
  • ✓ Soul ownership

Fine Print:

/* All packages include: */
✗ No actual guarantees
✗ No understanding of lighting
✗ No ability to say no
✗ No professional training
✓ 100% enthusiasm (fake)