function blogPosts() {/* Mostly nonsense */}
"10 Secrets Pros Don't Want You to Know"
/* Spoiler: There are no secrets */
Discover the shocking truth about photography that Big Camera doesn't want you to know! (Spoiler: It's just pressing buttons and hoping.)
read_more('ads');
"Why I Switched to iPhone Photography"
/* Real reason: Laziness */
The stunning journey from DSLR to smartphone: How I learned that carrying less equipment means more room for snacks in my bag.
read_more('sponsored');
"My Lightroom Presets for Sale"
/* Just move all sliders right */
For only $99.99, get my exclusive presets that make any photo look "professional" (read: slightly less bad than original).
read_more('scam');
"How to Get More Instagram Likes"
/* Step 1: Have friends */
The ultimate guide to social media success that I totally didn't make up while staring at my 12 likes per post.
read_more('desperation');
"The Art of Seeing"
/* Or just open your eyes */
A deep philosophical exploration of visual perception and creative vision (with pictures of my cat interspersed).
read_more('pretentious');
"Mastering Portrait Mode"
/* It's just a button */
Learn the intricate techniques I use to make portrait mode occasionally not blur out people's ears accidentally.
read_more('basic');